Gastric-Bypass Adventure

i'm still alive...

2010-05-11T15:54:00.003-07:00

so far im at 174lbs, would love to weigh less but that will happen when i put more effort in my exercise which, i wil do this summer in the pool and with walking. i,ve now had 4 episodes of kidney stones and hopefully no more to come...those suckers are killer painful! ouch!

well this is short but sweet, more later ...love you all!!!

Steph

i'm still alive...

2010-05-11T15:54:00.001-07:00

I'M SELLING MEDICAL ID BRACELETS ON EBAY LADIES!!!

2010-04-18T13:02:00.000-07:00

Hey Everyone, I just recently starting making interchangeable Medical ID bracelets for us ladies out there who don't want to be stuck with the same colored medical ID bracelet all the time. Of course, you'll have your favorites that you'll want to wear a lot, but I would like to share with you my collection I have started selling on eBay for great CHEAP prices.

Most interchangeable medical ID bracelets I've found are priced at almost $50 a pop! That's outrageous! I couldn't spend that much even if I wanted to. I decided to start up my own collection on eBay all for UNDER $15! That's unbeatable. I hope you take some time to check them out. :)

Here is the link: (PS: I am also selling regular beaded bracelets too)

http://shop.ebay.com/californiasgirl559/m.html?_nkw=&_armrs=1&_from=&_ipg=&_trksid=p4340

Or you can just go to eBay and look me up via my name on there, which is: californiasgirl559

We are called "California's Creations". I hope you take some time to help out a fellow gastric bypass person and spread the word even if you aren't interested. Thank you so much for your continued support. I hope everyone is doing FANTASTIC!

Lots of love,
Stephanie

I'm STUCK!!! Help!

2010-02-16T16:24:00.000-08:00

It's been long overdue, i needed to update my blog for sure. I've been stalling on that though. Here I am though updating it now. As you can see, I am stuck on my weight and for quite some time. I really hope I get responses on this. I've never been THIS "stuck" before. I am currently at 199lbs. I have been at 199lbs for about two weeks now or so. It's so frustrating. Yeah, it's great that i'm in "onederland" now, but I feel like at any moment I could gain a pound and be back out of onederland. I guess i'm just panicing. I'm feel much more safe if I weight at least 195 so I know I have 1 pound of room that I don't have to worry about. Does that make sense?

Did you guys have that problem too? I'm only almost 3 months out and I'm getting my protein in now, i wasn't for a short while because I didn't have the money to buy more but now that I have been getting my protein in i thought that would help, seems it's not helping though. That doesn't mean I won't be getting my protein in daily, but that I just was hoping that by getting all my protein in it would help. I knew i was bound to hit a plateau, but for how long? I still have a whole 49 lbs left to go to my main 150lbs goal. Ahhh! So frustrating. I had gallbladder removal surgery approx. a month ago and because of that I still can't do any really strenuous workouts to burn off the fat or tone up more. I cannot lift more than 10lbs or I could get a hernia. With all the junk i've been through because of this surgery, I can honestly say, i'm not going to dare try to get a hernia on top of everything else.

Anyways, I'm having a bad day... I'm gonna go now. Thanks for reading...

*in my no losing weight slum...* booo !!!

how did i even survive this!?

2010-01-21T12:58:00.000-08:00

Sunday morning during church service i started experiencing this horrid pain in my back on the right side only. I leaned toward my mom and told her. She said to go to the restroom maybe i needed to stand up cuz i pulled a muscle or something. It didnt help at all. By the time church was half way over i was hunched over in the chair about to cry, i told my mom i needed to leave.

She made me call the surgeon on call which was dr. Swartz. He said it could be my gallbladder and i should go to the ER. By now i was doubled over in pain that was constant and i was crying all the way to the hospital. ER was empty in the waiting room so i got called back quickly.

Unfortunately i have small veins so after 10 tries to find a vein for my IV and a bunch of "sorry's" i was in the ER for 3 hours in excruiciating pain, so bad i was dry heaving every few seconds, not to mention moaning, crying and could not sit still with no pain meds. Finally they found a vein i pointed out to them and gave me some dilouted medication which was my miracle drug. Instant pain relief. Believe me though that when it wore off i was begging for more. I was laying in the ER for 9 hours until they finally moved me to a room at around 9pm.

I spent the night. The pain subsided at about 12am. At 7am Dr. Swartz came to see me and to find out more about my symptoms. I explained that it started with a warm burst throughout my stomach and then went away. Then i had a terrible back pain on the middle of just the right side of my back. The Dr in the ER said they tested my blood and my liver count should have been 10 to be normal mine was 230!! No gallstones though said the lady who did my ultrasound. Dr. Swatrz said he isnt for sure whats going on but is about 90% sure its my gallbladder. He would do surgery that day, Monday at 4:30pm and he would check my gallbladder, remove it if its not functioning properly, check all of my intestines for a hernia and do yet a fourth endoscopy all while i am under since i am having problems keeping solids down.

Turns out my gallbladder had stopped functioning causing me extreme pain, he removed my gallbladder. I had no hernia, but i did have an ulcer so he prescribed me nexium for that. I was sent home tuesday morning at around 10am with vicodin. Which, does NOT work! It only makes me tired but doesnt get rid of my pain. Anyways....

I went home and was sooo constipated. I wont lie, i wanted to die. Felt like i had been run over by a BIG truck and left for dead. Couldnt take pain meds because it causes constipation. The constipation was killer!!! I was soo backed up and blocked that all the gas pumped into me from surgery was stuck and just moving around, and i was in so much pain. I tried a laxative, milk of magnesia, stool softener, two supositories and still, nothing. So embarassed and desparate for help my mom had to give me an enema. Yes, how embarassing. It was painful cuz i was so tore up inside. Well, sad to admit my shame but its got to be said you must know not to ever let it get this bad. I had a big accident after that and had to wash clothes and take a good shower, i am sure u can imagine my humiliation. My poor mom was gagging! I dont blame her. I laugh now but it was soo sad when it happened. Worst of all, it didnt work. I called Dr. Swartz who gave me a concoction for yet another enema that is homemade and a sure fix. 1 part molasses and 1 part whole milk slightly warmed and mixed well put into an empty enema bottle. Omg! He wasnt kidding. It worked!!!

Not to be gross or give TMI but after passing the "trouble" i realize why i was in so much pain when i saw the size of it. My poor colon!! I felt sooo much better afterwords! Lol!

Although i still have awful pain from the surgery and still cant take pain meds, i am just thankful the worst is over and on the good side i no longer have to take that stupid gigantic horse pill for my gallbladder. Yay!

Lets just say its safe to admit i have a high tolerance to pain. God has really been taking care of me i dont know how one person could go through so much pain and surgeries and still be alive.

Feeling better now,
Steph

Syntrax Matrix Perfect Chocolate Protein Powder

2010-01-15T18:01:00.000-08:00

Okay, THANK Goodness for the makers of this stuff. Totally not disgusting protein powder! I HAD to give a BIG mention about this. Only because after searching through countless products and trying many of them, not to mention, spending money on them after they are now sitting unopened in my closet or opened and sealed because they are nasty, this is one product i swear by! It's so tasty. I also bought the cookies n' cream (which is personally not my favorite flavor), they also have vanilla, chocolate as you see (this is my favorite so far), orange cream, strawberry and banana's n' cream. I plan on getting the banana's n' cream one soon because I know i love banana's so that might be a tasty treat.

By all mean, BUY this protein powder before you try anything else. The best part is they sell it here in town and not only that but they sell it for a low price of only $19.99 for a 2lb jug! Woo hoo!!!

A BIG thumbs up to Syntrax Matrix Perfect Chocolate Protein Powder!

-Stephanie

Citracal Calcium Citrate w/Vitamin D - PETITES

2010-01-15T17:52:00.000-08:00

I will say this quickly. I was highly disappointed when i opened up this bottle and realized that it was not in any way petite at all! I laughed and said "goodness, if this is petite then what the heck does the regular pill look like?" ha! What a joke.

Anyways, these are sitting in my cupboard for a time when I'm able to swallow large pills. So for now they will wait until a later date to be taken.

Although I'd like to give this a thumbs up for being an "option" at least, and for FUTURE endeavors I cannot at the moment give this a thumbs up because I'm only a little over 8 weeks out and the feelings of "doom" after taking a pill this big with my itty bitty pouch is not quite the best comfort for a gastric bypass person. So for now, a thumbs down. :(

-Stephanie

Bariatric Advantage Calcium Citrate Lozenges w/Vitamin D

2010-01-15T17:42:00.000-08:00

Since Dr. Felix's office was out of the liquid calcium that I was used to, I decided to try a little something else, i needed my calcium so I asked and they had these lozenges. I guess on the way out the door I read the bottle wrong because I could have sworn it said "chewables" but i quickly found out I was wrong when i turn it around and the directions noted that you put it in your mouth and let it dissolve. WHOOPS! Yeah, rude awakening. It wasn't horrible chewed up, but it did get kind of stuck in my teeth, and the chalkiness of it was a bit unnerving. I won't do that the next time. All in all, these don't have the BEST flavor, I haven't tried the other flavors which are; wild cherry, mint and cinnamon. I can tell you though that chocolate isn't HORRIBLE, but it will get me by. It will help me get my calcium in.

The reason I'm going to post so many calcium things on here (3 to be exact) is because I have tried all three. The reason I absolutely cannot do the "pill" form is because at this point in my a little over 8 weeks post-op I have found that I'm still not cool with swallowing those bigger than normal pills. I just hate swallowing pills in general. Before surgery though it was never a problem you could have given me a horse pill and I could have swallowed it with no issues at all, now, not-so much!

Another big thumbs up to: Bariatric Advantage Calcium Citrate Lozenges w/Vitamin D.

-Stephanie

Wellesse Liquid Calcium Citrate & Vitamin D

2010-01-15T17:11:00.000-08:00

This is an item that came in my $950 kit from Dr. Felix's office the day before my surgery. This was a lifesaver after surgery and after trying to deal with so many pills and chewable vitamins. I most definitely recommend this for those of you who are less than six weeks post op.

As you know, i had a few complications, nothing TOO major, and i'm still alive and i wouldn't change a thing I am happy with my decision. Life is MUCH BETTER! YAY! Anyways, with my complications getting even liquid down, you can imagine my struggle to choke down pills both for acid prevention and for my still existing gallbladder. Then the chewable vitamins and iron pill as well. This was a breath of fresh air.

WORD OF ADVICE: Please always remember, NEVER take this with your iron pill. It will not absorb. Nor will your iron. That's what i was told from my surgeon's office. They know best! You may take this with your regular multivitamin though. Remember to only take 1 tbsp. at a time. Although it says you take 2, your body can only absorb 500mg at a time so just take 1 tbps. at a time and then wait at least 1 hour before taking another. :)

A big thumbs up to the Wellesse Liquid Calcium Citrate (never use carbonate, it doesn't absorb in our pouches!) & Vitamin D.

-Stephanie

Product Reviews

2010-01-15T16:52:00.000-08:00

So I just wanted to let everyone know that I'll be spending a lot of time on product reviews for those of us bariatric and soon-to-be bariatric people. I have been through so many different kinds of protein shakes, the powder AND the liquid that I NEED to notify you all about what is "tasty" and what is just down-right NASTY!

I have also been testing out different pills, some of the time though I go back to dr. felix's office to purchase their very reasonably priced products. I will also share my thoughts on the products I received in the $950 kit I was given the day before my surgery.

Join me, and leave your feedback. If you have any ideas on great products for all of us, please leave me comments. I'll be happy to post a product review on that product as well for us all.

Thanks and happy weight loss to everyone!

Sorry for my absence...I am back.

2009-12-30T21:11:00.000-08:00

So, just to give a quick update. Monday i will finally be allowed solid foods, but not EVERYTHING. I still have to stay away from those scary carbs like; bread, pasta, rice and tortilla's.

I have had 3 endoscopy's to get me where I am at today and I'm thankful that I no longer have to deal with not being able to hold down mush, much less WATER. Even that was coming up. I'm also thankful to be able to eat mush even. I was on liquids, which actually, I was only able to drink water, nothing else. Other stuff came back up...anyways, i was on water for about a month. hence the quick weight loss.

Plateau...
I did hit this. A "plateau". All in part to starting mush after one whole month of ONLY water. My poor body went into shock and held on to EVERYTHING. I even gained about 3 pounds. I have since lost one of those 3 pounds and I know for sure, it will continue to come off.

Today I felt really good and decided to give "turkey jerky" a try. I had been eating it. Although, i think i ate too much. I over stuffed myself. I feel guilty about it, but then again, I know i'll NEVER do that again. Lesson learned. It's SOOO not fun throwing up turkey jerky that's been chewed to the best you could do. Sometimes not exactly TOTALLY chewed enough. Reason I threw up was because I couldn't chew it thoroughly. Bad idea. No more turkey jerky for me. Although it was delicious, it definitely WAS NOT fun coming back up. Therefore, Turkey Jerky will take a rest for a "later" date. :) LOL!

I have been updating my youtube videos as much as possible. Check them out if you haven't yet. It's not necessarily for anything other than a purpose for myself to see what a different I have made in weight loss. When i was young and thin, i thought i was fat. So, this is so I don't EVER do that again. When i get to my goal weight, i will NEVER doubt myself, feel depressed because I'm not thinner than SOME girls, and I will not let myself down again...EVER!

I want to take a second though before I end this to thank God who helped me through such a ROUGH time. Who let me live through such a horrific experience. Even when I was laying there LITERALLY dying, people crying around me, I managed to live. I prayed a LOT while I was in the hospital and I know the reason WITHOUT-A-DOUBT was because of Jesus that I am still here today to talk about it. God Bless those of you about to have this surgery, my prayers will be with you. Those who have had the surgery, my prayers are with you as well. Hang in there! :)

Steph

long awaited update...

2009-12-13T12:51:00.000-08:00

I know i wrote an entry about day one in the hospital but i was in the hospital for 7 days so i figured with being behind on updating on here, i will just sum it up.

Please understand i am in no way trying to discourage anyone. This is just the truth not all of these surgeries come with no complications.

My case is a good example.

I had not one but two surgeries, got pneumonia when under anastesia the 2nd time. Had a catheder in my neck and well... You know. Had multiple xrays, i literally lost count.

Got out of the hospital and was having troubles. I had these really uncomfortable foamy burps. So i found out i had stenosis and would need an endoscopy. Got that done but dr said he could only slightly dilate me cuz i was only two 1/2 weeks out from surgery and that i would probably need to get another one done when i hit 3 weeks. So i went back and got a 2nd endoscopy. I was told it should be the last one.

Turns out that was wrong i go back again tomorrow for another endoscopy. Number 3! I hope it fixes it cuz i have been on water for 7 straight days, no food. By the time this is all done it will be 10 days of just water. I have been really cranky cuz i am soo hungry.

So thanks to everyone for your prayers and please continue to pray i really need it.

I guess i will end this now, tried to sum it up a bit and i am sorry for not updating in so long. Just been a tough couple weeks.

Steph

Day 1 in hospital - Surgery Day

2009-11-29T18:07:00.000-08:00

I'll make this as brief as possible after all, I was in the hospital for 7 full days.

I showed up in my PJ's and no makeup, hair done. There was a mix up in my surgeon. I was like "no, i said i want Dr. Felix not Dr. Swartz". I will NOT do surgery if Dr. Swartz does it. Not that Dr. Swartz is bad, but I know Dr. Felix is the best of the best and I had only met with Dr. Felix.

I was taken to a room where my bed (little did i know i'd be on for 7 days) was at. I was to get undressed, put all my clothes, shoes and undergarments into this plastic see-through bag thing that they would keep with me under my bed in a holder thing.

I got on the bed and waited. Two nurses came in, and then a third. One asked me health related questions and the others got me ready for surgery, one was doing something behind me, i'm thinking an IV the other was putting the IV in, when i heard the IV lady say "whoops, i'm sorry, that vein just popped." I'm sorry but "whoops" is not a word you want to hear while laying there in a hospital bed and especially not from the lady with the big needle.

She then tried my other arm, while my left arm stung ridiculously. She managed to get a good vein for my right arm, a "straight" one she said.

My grandpa (Poppy) showed up to pray for me before surgery, David was in the room with me. I almost cried because for some reason, i just got really nervous and realized that i COULD die from this. I stayed strong.

As i was wheeled on my bed past my family in the hallway, they all waved and said not to worry. My mom and dad were able to come into the "pre-surgery" room with me, where i met the funny, African-American anesthesiologist, who was super nice. He calmed me down and got me to understand what was about to happen and not to worry because I was in good hands.

Dr. Felix showed up and I verified once more that HE would be my surgeon. He agreed and said "of course it's me." Told my parents to say goodbye for now and then they were going to take me to surgery.

I remember whizzing past each hallway, each turn faster and faster, or maybe that was my heartbeat. I was getting scared. I was wheeled on my bed into this FREEZING cold room. The temperature change was undeniable! I heard party music going on and a lot of laughter. I felt at ease when i heard the happy crowd that was about to work on me. At least no one was having a bad day. I saw the faces, okay, no, i saw the ceiling, and eyes. With blue masks over their faces and muffled voices. I was told to slide from my bed to this very thin cold hard, metal table. Which i knew was THEE table. My arms were spread out beside me. I heard the anesthesiologist say "okay you're going to feel a little chill go through your veins and I want you to close your eyes and think of the beach". I felt almost immediately my eyes crossing and I laughed and said "whoa, you must have done that already, my eyes feel funny.." that was all i remember.

I woke up to a young girls voice. "Stephanie sweetie, you're in recovery, from a 1 - 10 what's your pain level?" of course I said "8" only because I was trying to be strong, and really wasn't sure what "10" was, but it was sure close! I was gagging a little on the treck tube they had stuck down my throat which i don't remember them pulling out, but I do remember the feeling in my throat being so scratchy and dry. Ouch. I hated the recovery room. It was painful. I think the girl in recovery gave me some good pain meds because I don't rememeber falling asleep I just remember waking up in my room on floor 3. Room 321, if i remember right.

I was laying there staring at my family gathered around me, looking at me and saying "how do you feel?". Later that night, I was asked to get up and try to pee. I did. With no problem at all. A asian nurse came in saying that i needed a catheter. Oh man, NO!!! I could hear the two nurses arguing with each other one saying "no she doesn't need it she just peed" the other saying "it's doctor's orders". I was like "whoa, someone tell me what's going on..." i remember the feeling of the catheter going in. NOT FUN!! It sucked! Whatever though. I started to get the hiccups, painful relentless ones. My heartbeat was going really high, up to 150. Which was causing the hiccups. The doctor came in at around 4pm and said "Stephanie, I'm sorry to say this, but we are going to do exploratory surgery on you to try and make sure you don't have internal bleeding your heart rate is just way too high plus the hiccups."

(to be continued to day 2 in the hospital).

Day of Surgery...

2009-11-18T08:47:00.000-08:00

Today is SURGERY day! I am excited to get my little pouch of a tummy after nearly 3 days of pure torture, couldn't eat food for almost 3 days! Only clear liquids! I feel my tummy trying to eat me alive! Lol!

Yesterday i had to drink that magnesium citrate junk and let me tell ya, i have NEVER tasted anything so awful before in my life. I felt like i drank 10 ounces of pure salt water, added with LOTS of extra salt. Just drinking that salty crap i gained 2 lbs in a matter of hours but after spending most of the day on the toilet i have now lost a total of 8lbs. Yay, but still dealing with the aftermath of that stuff i drank today - the day of surgery.

Eating nothing for so long causes your brain to kind of "take a break" can't seem to remember much anything these last two days, been a bit foggy-headed.

Thanks to everyone for your kind wishes and prayers. I really appreciate it. I will do my best to blog when i can but not sure i will be allowed my phone in the hospital. Boo!! Lol!

Love,
Steph

Surgery Day Tomorrow...

2009-11-17T18:31:00.000-08:00

I'm going to make this brief because I just drank that magnesium citrate stuff that it was AWFUL! Oh man, i'm still cringing from the taste. Plus it's suppose to CLEAN me out so i will make this fast. I have surgery tomorrow at 1pm, i have to be there at 11am. I'm excited now, and want it here already, i can hardly take anymore of starving myself and just allowing liquids. Been doing this for two days now and I feel sooo light-headed. It's hard.

I am READY...let's DO this! LOL! You are all amazing and I hope this is helpful. Oh, i don't think i'll be allowed my cell phone so don't count on me updating from the hospital although if i can get away with it, I will. LOL!

Please pray that all goes well. :)

Thanks everyone!

Steph

It's Pre-Op diet time!!!

2009-11-15T23:00:00.000-08:00

Only clear liquids  from here on out until surgery day which is in two days! Can't believe time has gone by so fast! It's just amazing!

Not sure what fasting for two days feels like but i am about to find out! Lol!

I have been so ready for this, eating my last REAL meal tonight made it that much more real. I drove home thinking about what i sadly always seem to think about "what to eat tomorrow" but soon that was scratched out because i realized all i get is clear liquids. Lol!!! Yikes!

I am already parched and want to drink something but know i will only be thirsty for more and i am already in bed. Dont want to have to wake up mid-nighttime and have to use the bathroom. So i will deal with it.

Got the 5 wishes form in the mail and filled it out, and if i might express some thoughts and observations... i am sorry but if it says leave all that apply alone and cross out any of the things listed you DON'T want done and one option is "if i have bowel movement problems and/or i have a bowel movement or if i urinate while being treated and i am unable to care for myself i wish to be cleaned and have my linens replaced." two things;one, why would anyone cross that out and want to lay in their pooand pee and two, really!? Why is this question on here? I mean if doctors and nurses in hospitals are leaving patients in their own poop and pee wouldnt that hospital be out of business by now? Lol!

I kind of laughed at the second part to this next question and my response to it that i didnt write down but said aloud cuz i was kind of joking. Question one: "when u die, circle which one u would want to be done with your body: buried or cremated" i circled "buried". THOUGHT: How do i circle this WHEN i die? Lol! Question two: "where would u like your remains?" my answer "in the ground" lol!! So i really put the name of the cemetary but laughed when i read that and thought of my imediate answer. Lol

Well off to bed now, goodnight everyone! :)

Steph

Good ol' Wal-Mart!

2009-11-11T23:52:00.000-08:00

Today, David and i took a trip into Walmart. The place i hate going to, but the place whose prices i love!

I laughed and almost felt sad at the same time. My basket was blocking the way for some younger lady, probably mid 30's. I said "Whoops, I'm sorry." with a smile of delight on her face she said "oh that's okay hun, thank you. At least you said sorry and were polite.". Really? No seriously, really? Is it really so hard for those inconsiderate, rude and undisciplined people out there to just slide their cart over and say "sorry"? Apparently it is. What a joke, this World needs Jesus!

Anyway, I made a list of things my "support group" friends told me I will need for in the hospital and for after surgery. I had to get it today because i wont be driving to town again until Sunday and dont really have time on Sunday to do it.

This is an idea of the many things i was told I will need, i will try to list most of them.

Water bottle
Protein powder
Milk of magnesia - for well, you know!
Benefiber
Boitin - to help prevent dry skin, and to keep the health of ur hair and nails as well.
Sugar-free popsicles
Sugar-free jell-o
Fiber one yogurt-plain or vanilla
Low-fat cottage cheese
Ear plugs - for those ever-so-annoying beeping IV machines that are expiring.
Band-aids - for after your shower u can put band-aids back on incisions.
Pill organizer- for the many many vitamins.
Fat-free or low-fat milk
Soy milk - in case the regular milk doesn't sit well.
Tiny tupperware containers - bought cute little 1/2 cup ones. Perfect size.
Chapstick - for right after surgery.
A robe - because walking around with your hospital gown on with the back side open isnt exactly a "good" feeling, especially for an obese person. Lol! It provides...umm...shelter!
Little baggies - gonna need a place for all my vitamins when i have to go somewhere, it will fit nicely in my purse. Found these in the arts and crafts section actually! Lol!

Well i feel like i am missing something but i am not sure. I hope this is helpful to anyone considering or about to get gastric bypass surgery.

•just a random thought - I would really like this cold weather to warm up or the heater in this house to be turned up. Burr!! My nostrils are FREEZING! Lol!

Goodnight! :)

Strange dislikes

2009-11-11T23:37:00.000-08:00

This may sound a little bit crazy, but i seem to be hating sugar lately or even bad stuff in general. Today I looked at the ice cream in David's freezer and "thought" about having some. It was my favorite kind. Thrifty brand "chocolate malted crunch". Yum, right?

WRONG!

I closed the freezer door and did a "chills down my spine" shiver. I felt naseaus. I grabbed a glass of water and sat down.

David decided he was going to make tortellini and red sauce with shredded cheese for dinner. I took about three bites and i was like "I'm done, sorry, dont feel that great."

I think that i am getting to where i just dont want certain yucky foods. Even the thought of fast food makes me cringe. Yuck!

This is a good step toward healthy eating.

I also notice i look at sugar, calories, fat and carb amount on EVERYTHING! It's become an obsession. I guess i just took the knowledge we were given in our nutritionist class and ran with it, i am realizing that what the nutritionist said is so true.

She said that most companies try to trick people by putting fat free on something to trigger "healthy" in their mind and make them think it's much healthier for them but in reality food companies have to over compensate for what they take out like "fat" and add in things that we are so accustomed to tasting like "sugar". Fat free milk had about two grams higher of sugar than 2% milk had. I thought that was pretty interesting.

Anyways, i just thought i would share my thoughts on that stuff.

Take care everyone,
Steph

5 Wishes i wish to be...

2009-11-10T17:24:00.000-08:00

Let's talk about RUDE awakenings.

5 wishes.

My case manager from blue cross said that this is a weird subject to bring up to patients who are my age, 27 because it's not something they ever thought about at their age. I understand.

At first, it was a bit of a gut-wrench-er. I saw there quiet as I tried to figure out if she was trying to tell me that I needed to do a "will" before surgery "just-in-case" but instead she just kind beat around the bush and went over reason's why it's best to have this planned out ahead of time before surgery. I then asked "do you mean like a living will of some sort?" she said "well, i know it's a lot to take in at 27 years old and not something you want to face right now, but just as a suggestion, it is a good idea so that your family will feel comfortable in making decisions for you if something did go wrong during or after surgery." I agreed.

I kind of always wanted to have one on hand, because I know several people who died at an early age. That's not to say that i'll die young, but I know that my feelings about "life" won't change by the time i'm 80 years old and in my "elderly" years.

I read some of the questions and honestly, some of the questions I had to read a few times to totally understand what on earth my answer would be. I don't even know some of the answers to these questions. LOL!

I'm going to make my mom the "agent" or well "decision maker" and if she's not able to do it, it will be my "dad". I feel bad because I would have it be David, but since we are not married, I don't want to put that kind of responsibility on him and make anything happen where my family would be upset with him for going off of MY guidelines and making a decision they wouldn't have made. I just want it to be that when i'm gone, whether that's now or WAY FAR off (hoping and praying for the last one.. lol) then I want them to still be close to David. He needs my family and I know they would be sad without him around too.

I will, however, write up a letter to each person in my immediate family and to David to let them know how I feel in case they had any "last words" it will be like a "conversation" with out the other person's opinion, just "questions answered" i guess.

I know that this won't happen...at least that's the mentality I'm going to keep to make it through surgery and not get all freaked out before surgery happens. I want to go into surgery with a clean heart (that's business with me and God) and a clear mind and HAPPY THOUGHTS. :)

Body Fortress - VANILLA!

2009-11-10T16:33:00.000-08:00

Just to make a note:

I bought the body fortress whey protein "vanilla" (they were out of chocolate) from wal-mart the other day. I tried it first with water. YUCK! Hard to deal with.

Two days ago, i tried it with 1% milk. YUMMY! Tasted great! It's kind of sweet tasting though, even though there is VERY little sugar in it. Hopefully I can handle it after surgery. I will be buying soy milk though because I don't want to get sick off of the "milk sugar" that comes in regular cow's milk. Hopefully i can handle soy milk. :)

Oh, the best part is it was only $15.

I plan to buy the chocolate kind tomorrow when i head to wal-mart again to pick up a few odds and ends for after surgery, if they don't have the chocolate, i'll buy the strawberry, don't want to be stuck with ONE flavor and become bored.

Oh yes, and in case you can't see what it says, in only TWO scoops of this stuff i will have drank 52g of protein. I need about 52 - 60g's per day so this will be MUCHO helpful. :)

The Icky Truth...

2009-11-08T15:30:00.000-08:00

I find myself laughing right now and trying to "train" myself to be calm after surgery is done because my family seems to think I'll be freaking out and crying a lot. I probably will. I need a break from that though, after all my stomach will be working a LOT different after that and I've never had surgery of ANY kind so I'm sure I'll be a bit in a state of shock. LOL!

Parents keep saying stuff like "we don't want you to start panicking after surgery, or crying and freaking out..." okay, fine. I'll just pretend i'm fine. Even though my insides have been re-routed and cut up, yeah, that's SIMPLE! LOL!

I know what they are talking about, they just don't want me to complain. Fine, fair enough. I'll complain to myself after surgery because i'm pretty sure i'm gonna need to "whine" or "cry" about something afterwords, it's no crime.

Then again, I'm a pretty tough girl sometimes and I can handle things pretty good, even major things. After all, i did pretty much break my foot (i think, or broke something in there) with my old suitcase dropping on it a couple years back and NEVER saw a doctor for it, even though i had a bubble filled with blood on top of my foot the size of a golf ball and an aching pain that hurt even when my light sheet would rub across it, but i handled that. LOL!

Who knows, we'll just have to see, i'm just gonna pray that I stay strong and don't freak out or complain much at all. :)

A little off subject...

2009-11-07T11:15:00.000-08:00

Today, i went to take a state test to get a job. For lack of them not searching for the "type" of job it is and reading this, i have decided to leave the title I applied for "unknown" so I can say what I think.

Overall, I wasn't that nervous. I got a little nervous when it was time to go in and take the test, BUT there were only 4 of us there TOTAL. I was surprised, especially with unemployment rates as high as they are currently.

I decided that I was just going to "breathe" and do the best I can, that's all i can do anyways. The worst that can happen is I fail the test. I hope though, that I didn't fail because I would love to have a job doing "what i applied for". ;)

Most of the test was grammar stuff. That was a simple task for me.

It was ninety questions total and we had two hours to complete the test. It's been so long since I've taken a "scan-tron" test. LOL! I managed to fill the bubbles in correctly though. Honestly, anyone who decides that they should "check mark" a bubble on a scan-tron test is a total dummy. My apologizes; but if you read directions then you should have no problem what-so-ever filling in a scan-tron form. It specifically states that you are to completely and neatly fill in the bubble and gives you examples of what's correct and incorrect.

Anyways, back on track. The proctor starts reading off instructions from a piece of paper in front of her. One of the instructions said to "open our test booklets and read only the first two pages and do not turn the page to the third page". Fair enough. She stops reading and does a bit of a head nod for us to be able to read the instructions. Mind you, this is two pages long. It's no paragraph or sentence for that matter. I barely get to sentence three and she's already reading something else off of her instructions list about what to do after the test and what-not. She obviously really hated being there on a Saturday morning. I started thinking, 'Really!? Was she kidding? I don't know what kind of a person she is, but if she's THAT skilled I'll most definitely walk out of this test since I'm obviously out of my comfort zone.'

How can one person possible reading two pages of instructions and KNOW what they are reading while listening to another set of instructions. I'm all for multitasking but THIS was a little much. I smiled, and listened. I realized that the instructions were mostly about how to take the test (the instrucations I was said to 'read'), which, if i recall, it's not all that hard. Pretty self explanatory. I opted for listening to her "what to do afterwords" instructions. LOL!

I started the test. The silence was almost too loud. Yes, i know, an oxymoron? ha,ha. The sound of pencil's filling in the bubbles was also a bit unnerving, I was sure my A.D.D was going to get the best of me and I would read a sentence and then five more times over until I was able to focus. THANKFULLY though, something just clicked. I read the first question and almost laughed. These were soo easy. I think the other three people there were getting a little nervous at how quickly I was answering the questions. What can i say? Grammar, spelling and punctuation are just my thing.

I notice I'm flipping the pages awfully fast and I'm starting to wonder if maybe I should slow down a little? No! I got this! :) I continue.

THEN....

a screeching halt......................MATH! My worst enemy.

I was all for answering the questions on the math portion but knew that that just might ruin my chances of ever passing this test....... until....a calculator? I noticed out of the corner of my eye, there on the table sitting next to me, was a supply. A calculator! I was a bit hesitant to pick the calculator up. Almost as if it was a sin, or as if the "proctor" would come by and slap by hand and tell me I automatically failed for using it. BUT, it was supplied to us. Everyone had one next to them. I'm not BRILLIANT but I'm not idiot, if you suck at math and have access to a calculator, you USE it for Heaven sakes! :) I did just that. THANK YOU CALCULATOR!

I looked up, at the proctor, everyone else had their heads still buried in their test booklets and I said "i give this to you, right?" she said, "you're done?" with a surprised look on her face as though I just guessed my way through everything. I said "yes, so i give this to you, and is that it? Or do I need to do something else?" She replied, "nope, that's it. You're free to go." Yay! RELIEF! I was done!

Holy cow! All my years of struggling through high school because I just wasn't that great at it. I finally was able to pull myself together, take a TEST (of ALL things!) and be the first to finish it.

I'm sorry to brag or sound arrogant, but this is a milestone (per-say) for me. I have never been the VERY first to finish a test before. I knew i was good with grammar and spelling, but my goodness, the BEST out of all four of us? Okay, so I know four isn't much, but hey, I was still the best or well, the FASTEST! LOL!

I will know if I passed the test in 4-8 weeks. I can't say that I whizzed through the test knowing everything because granted, some of the questions on there were just plain difficult. I found myself questioning my own answers, but remembered that the best policy is always to follow your first choice and not second-guess yourself. So i didn't. I just pray that I passed that test and I'll soon be offered a job with the state. That would be absolutely WONDERFUL! :)

Thanks for the time in reading this, I hope you laughed a little. Today's testing was quite humorous.

SURGERY DATE SCHEDULED!!!

2009-11-05T19:08:00.000-08:00

So, I decided that instead of waiting for the surgeon's office to call me at home (which is where i WASN'T at) that i would give them another "ring-a-ling" to let them know that I received my actual paperwork in the mail from blue cross saying that I was "approved" for gastric bypass surgery.

I called and talked to Lupe. I was pleased when instead of saying "can i call you back?" she said "can you please hold?" which meant to me that she was probably getting my file to go over some stuff and set up an appointment.

She came back on the line and said "okay, when did you want your surgery date to be, as soon as possible or later?" i laughed, and said "oh...definitely as soon as possible." she was happy to help. To my utter SURPRISE i was shocked when she said "November 19th? or wait, i have November 18th? Are either of those good for you?" Of course! I went with the earlier one. November 18, 2009. Woot woot!!!

My poor heart could hardly take the excitement. I waited as she gave me my instructions:

"Okay, so you'll arrive at Clovis Community Hospital at 9:30am and your surgery time is scheduled for 11:30am. You will be meeting with Dr. Felix for your pre-op appointment at our office here at 11am the day before your surgery, November 17th. He will go over a lot of information with you and you'll get your 'kit' full of vitamins and all that other stuff you'll need after surgery. You will need to be in the hospital for two days and you will be released from the hospital on the 20th. You will need to bring your $950 dollars with you to your appointment on the 17th. You will also need to go on a 'clear liquid' diet starting two days before your surgery, you cannot have anything other than clear liquid."

Just in case anyone decides to go to Dr. Felix's office here in Fresno, CA i was told that I would be able to pay $500 up front and the rest in payments of no less than $50 and I would have to have the remaining $500 paid off (because if you pay only $500, it's not longer $950 it's an additional $50 making your total $1,000) within a year. Obviously, that's no problem. I just wanted to make sure i could pay the $500 and have some time to pay off the rest because within the next two months I should have the extra $500 paid off. :)

After I heard the GREAT news of my SOON surgery date. I was soooo excited.

David and I went to the grocery store because he needed to get some groceries for his apartment. We were walking down the protein shake and vitamin isle and I stopped to look at it. I never thought that looking at protein shakes would give me a "happy" "giddy" "butterflies in my tummy" feeling. It did!!!

That's because when i was looking at all the different protein shakes and putting myself to the TEST i realized that this is now SO real. I will soon be a "prior" gastric bypass patient and I was happy to know that soon i'll be able to use my "tool" to get me back to my health and the happiness that I long for.

I laughed on the ride home while looking at my rings on my fingers saying "i will soon need to have these taken in some, cuz they will eventually fall off my fingers if i don't. I also can't wait til i can wear bracelets again, or necklaces that aren't "REALLY" long around the neck. Oh the excitement!!!

I went online to look for protein shakes that I can do well with. Dr. Felix's booklet mentioned that it's best to buy a protein shake (powder mix, at first) to drink BEFORE surgery. After surgery you can't drive so better to have that on hand. :)

I researched this "Nectar" stuff that my friend, Brooke, mentioned in your blog.

It's basically a zero carb, zero fat, only 90 calorie whey protein shake that tastes and looks a bit like kool-aid.

Which i found would probably sit better in my "pouch" (1 ounce) stomach after surgery rather than a "milky thicker" type protein shake would. I have heard that it actually tastes pretty good too.

Here it is:

DETAILS:

Ingredients

Calories - 90 - %

Calories From Fat: 0 - %

Total Fat: 0g - 0**%

Saturated Fat: 0g - 0**%

Cholesterol: <5mg - 1**%

Total Carbohydrates: 0g - 0**%

Dietary Fiber: 0g - 0**%

Sugars: 0g - %

Protein: 23g - 45**%

Calcium: - 15%

Phosphorus: - 8%

Magnesium: - 6%

Sodium: 60mg - 2%

Potassium: 120mg - 4%

I thought that was good information. They have all kinds of flavors. It's made my Syntrax. Look it up on Google. You can purchase it here in town at Flex Factory in Clovis, CA.

I prefer to actually purchase it online thought because it's cheaper. :) I looked it up via Amazon.com. :)

Also, one thing I noticed while reading the reviews is that someone mentioned that the "natural" ones actually use "stevia" which is a better sweetener-type stuff that doesn't eventually "possibly" cause cancer like sweet n' low. The other flavors that aren't the "natural" ones contain the "sweetner" stuff that actually makes you feel hungry. So, just something to note and something to possibly avoid.

23g of protein though per serving so that's GREAT! :)

The Wait...Surgery Date

2009-11-04T11:21:00.000-08:00

I woke up at 8:30am this morning to give Dr. Felix's office a call and see about a surgery date. Apparently to my surprise, they don't open until 9am. So it was more WAITING. I'm used to this by now though. Wait for paperwork, wait for approval, wait for surgery date. LOL! No big surprise there! ha,ha. I must admit though, the wait could be MUCH worse as I have heard.

I called Dr. Felix's office again around 9:10am and the girl that answered took down my name and number and asked if she could call me back, but new that I was approved. Maybe they are just busy and she's looking into the approval and a surgery date. Regardless, I've been sitting by the phone just starring at it. CONFESSION: I even pick it up to look at it to make sure it didn't die. LOL!

I am anxious about this, what can I say!?

REACTIONS FROM FAMILY/FRIENDS:

So I'm not going to sugar-coat things. Some of my family seemed almost uninterested when I told them about my being approved for surgery. I know, I can't expect them to be as excited about surgery as I am. After all, there is risk involved in EVERY surgery.

(INTERRUPTION - Phone rang... LOL! NOT Surgeon's office. DANG!! My heart jump out of my chest for no reason! haha!)

Anyways, David's response I would say was the most shocking to me. Only because he knows how much I want this surgery. He just said "Cool!" and that was it. No questions, no nothing, he just dropped the subject. It really made me want to cry because I felt like my "support" wasn't really supporting me. BUT, yes, there is a "but" involved. I thought about things and talked to some of my friends who I've met that had weight loss surgery and they said that sometimes it's just hard for other people to understand. It's such a big deal and the only reason they are acting that way is because right now, it's not quite settled in on how to react to such a BIG surgery.

This is where I go back in my memory and I remember my Psychiatrist who did the Psych Evaluation on me saying "do you have anyone who has had this surgery as your support? Because although it's great to have a fiance, friends and family on your side and helping support you, sometimes you'll need someone there for you that has been through what you've been through. You'll know what i mean when you get there."

THIS must be EXACTLY what she meant.

I'm not upset with my family, nor am I upset with David. I WAS, I'll admit, a bit disappointed that I didn't get a different reaction. Now thought, after talking to several people who have had the surgery that they family/friends and spouses did the same thing. It's scary. For everyone.

I know thought that I do need to go into surgery with a clear mind. Free of negativity, I understand the risks, I understand the long-term possible problems, but I also understand that you have to take care of yourself VERY well, including taking your vitamins and getting the proper protein to PREVENT those bad problems from happening. I WILL NOT let myself get to a point where I start losing my hair because I don't get enough protein. I know it's harder said than done, but David is worried that I will lose my hair. The reason Dr. Felix has us go in once a year to get lab work done is to make sure that stuff like "losing your hair" doesn't happen.

I guess, even through the Nutritional Class and the Seminar, somewhere in those classes maybe he stopped listening or maybe it didn't mean the same thing to him. It just made sense to me.

I'll also admit that before going into surgery I find myself reading the booklet again, a fourth time. It's a LOT of information. Hence, the support groups, nutritional class and seminar AGAIN a week after surgery. It's just like with work. If you work somewhere for a long time, doing the SAME thing over and over again...then get laid off for a long time, when you go back to work you've pretty much forgotten what you are suppose to do until you get back in the groove of things. Same thing with weight loss surgery.

I don't know what it's like to have the surgery, all i have are my friends who have had it telling me what to expect along with all the MANY books and online information I read. It's as simple as learning to ride a bike. I just have to get on full speed ahead and keep going. Without questioning myself along the way, without looking back, just KEEP going.

That's what I'm going to do. Sometime, after the surgery is done and I'm back home they will all come around and see that this is something I needed to do. For me. For my future. For my life.

Sure, i could "possibly" die during surgery but very unlikely. It's VERY likely though, that if I keep going down this road of gaining weight, that I WILL die due to being obese and I will get other diseases that cause me to die eventually, like diabetes.

I choose to live. Surgery is my answer. I need support, when they decide (no names mentioned, and no intention on hurting anyone) to come around and understand that this is a choice i NEEDED to make then they will be happy.

It is a scary thing, but so is being overweight.

I love you all! :)

APPROVED!!!

2009-11-03T18:03:00.000-08:00

OhMyGoodness! I'm soo SUPER excited. Just got word from blue cross that i was APPROVED for surgery. It's about 6pm right now, so I will be calling my surgeon's office tomorrow first thing to get a surgery date. I literally have BUTTERFLIES in my stomach. I can't explain how excited i am.

Thanks for EVERYONE for your support through this time of "waiting". It's been rough, and I thought i would have to wait until Friday but looks like I found out TODAY! YAY!!!

I'll update more later, time for dinner and I need to settle down, i'm literally so excited i'm shaking ALL over! LOL!

Recap on Halloween Night Party

2009-11-01T11:52:00.000-08:00

So, last night was the Halloween party at my sister's house. That was fun. About 15 people showed up, so small part but lots of fun.

The night started out good, got there early to help Pamela (my sister) get her party stuff together and help decorate.

David dressed up before we left at like 3:30. LOL! He decided to be a "hillbilly" if you have ever seen the movie "Joe Dirt" well, that's pretty much what David looked like, it was HYSTERICAL! He bought the mullet the ugly teeth, and even a flannel shirt and we cut it up. What you can't see is i drew a "superman" fake tattoo on his left arm in permanent black marker. LOL! He also had his pants rolled up so they were "flooders" and had flip flops on. HAHAHA!

This is him in all his get-up for Halloween:
(almost scared to post this...LOL!)

Yes, i'm with this crazy guy... LOL!

When we got there, i was trying to figure out where to park and I saw Keith (my brother-in-law) outside looking through his truck for something, so I stopped my car on the other side of his truck. Apparently he couldn't really see my car and all he could see was David (dressed up like you see in the above picture) he said his first initial thought was "oh great! Don't tell me these trashy people need directions.." LOL! Too funny!

I help Pamela decorate the house a bit and put the food trays out, then my sister decides that we should do our hair dye now, before people start showing up. I had bought BLACK spray in dye for your hair that just washes out....HA! WASHES OUT!? Yeah, but MESSY!!! That's not ANYWHERE on the stupid label. LOL

So I go to brush my hair out and due to my having naturally curly hair it's UNBEARABLE! I can't handle the pain of ripping my hair out and it was as stiff as a board. So i was like "I have to take a shower...this HAS to get out of my hair"....BIG mistake. I wash it out only to find that the black dye has now run down all over my face, all over my body and when i got out of the shower i was SUPER red all over from scrubbing the crap out of myself to try and get all the black off of me.

I only had my face painted and had a red boa on because I didn't have a whole lot of money this year due to saving up money for surgery so i had to just leave my hair wet and work on painting my face after I got out of the shower. Which, wasn't easy to do alone. People were starting to show up and I was panicking because i couldn't seem to get ready fast enough LOL. I started shaking which didn't help with the makeup appliance. HAHA! Finally, i finished it up. I had Pamela come and help me put the CRAZY glittery fake eyelashes on. I've NEVER worn fake eyelashes around before so it was definitely FUNKY! I felt like i had super heavy eyelids and with every movement i made and with every light on in the room i was catching glimpses of glitter above my eyes. Overall, the party was a blast and I was happy with my face painting. hehe

Here was the final project:

I hope everyone had a GREAT Halloween! :)

Appropriate for Halloween

2009-10-30T21:59:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to say that I cannot wait until next Halloween when i'll actually be able to (assuming i'm approved for surgery) go to a Halloween costume store and regardless of their OUTRAGEOUS prices, buy a halloween costume that will FIT me. :)

For now, it's just face paint. That's a one size fits all kinda thing. I'm cool with it. :) For now...

Oh and parents are bring the video camera to sisters Halloween part tomorrow and sister wants to take pics. Whoa! Not something I'll miss. I hate being in a picture much less a video tape! AHH!

Those days of hiding will soon be over. :)

Goodnight and HAPPY HALLOWEEN to everyone! :)

Update - Called Insurance

2009-10-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Today, I made a call to my insurance company to find out where it is I send the reimbursement form for the psych evaluation so I can get all or SOME of the $200.00 that I spent back. I talked to a very nice girl, who sounded about my age named, Robin.

I was really glad that I had her on the phone and not some inconsiderate "i just wanna get you off the phone" kind of person.

I asked Robin if she knew anything about what the status of my bariatric surgery was and she checked in on it for me. What a nice girl! :) She said that currently, it has been received, but it's in pending status, just meaning they haven't had a change to take a look at it yet but should have an answer in 3 -5 business days. Told me to call back on Tuesday to find out. :)

Yay!!! I'm so excited!

Antisipating Monday

2009-10-30T13:17:00.000-07:00

So, Monday, is ALMOST a week from when i finished everything up. BUT, since I'm totally impatient about this surgery stuff, I am going to call my insurance company and find out if I have been approved. I am praying that I am approved and that this is something that will happen fast, as i feel like my life is currently on hold until AFTER surgery.

Was reading a friends' blog about protein drinks, she was smart to look into protein drinks that taste "ok" rather than DISGUSTING like most BEFORE surgery so she didn't have to deal with throwing up after tasting a rather nasty flavored one. I might want to do this. Although, I laughed so hard when i read that she tried "Isopure" which is great for protein because of how many grams of protein it has 40g in one bottle. Although it would take a full day to drink. LOL! I laughed because she tasted one and said that for lack of losing her hair she wanted to maintain her protein intake well, which i totally agree with, but said that Isopure tasted so bad she's rather go bald before drinking anymore of that stuff. WOW! That bad huh? Ha,ha!! That's so funny.

I ready to find out if I'm at least "approved" so i can be happy and feel assured that I'll be good to go. Then of course, as i NORMALLY am, I'll then have something else to be impatient about. BUT, at least I'll be able to tell everyone that I was approved and then I'll be able to find out when my surgery date will be. So many people to tell about my surgery date when i get it.

So...I am off to get some lunch. :) Ttyl!

Doctor's Clearance Letter & Psych Evaluation

2009-10-27T15:28:00.000-07:00

Hey hey everyone! So GREAT news! I went to see the Dr. and she hesitantly gave me the letter for clearance for surgery but she still did it. Thanks GOODNESS!!! Said it was because I was in good health other than being overweight and that she wouldn't necessarily "recommend" this surgery to someone like me who doesn't suffer from diabetes.

Okay, i understand that, but I also understand that if i keep up with the way i'm going i'm going to end up with one of those things and I would assume that people get this surgery to help PREVENT that from happening.

Anyways, i then went to see the Dr. for my psych evaluation who COMPLETELY without my saying so, said exactly what i was thinking. That this is a surgery to help you lose weight and keep it off, as well as help people get become healthy so they don't have other factors that cause them problems in the future. DUH!!! That's what i was saying all this time. LOL!

Thank you Psych Eval Dr! She was a very nice lady.

All this time, because I have had depression problems in the past was worried about if i would pass this psych eval to be quite honest. BUT, she said I was actually an EXCELLENT candidate for this surgery. Made me soo happy.

She just asked like what the cause of my depression was from, and i was totally honest. I said I was in a very bad relationship that was abusive verbally and physically and my ex would make rude remarks about my weight. When i told her that i had gone to see a doctor for the depression but all they did really was give me depression medicine, i laughed because she said "well doctors don't understand WHY we are depressed they just try to 'treat' it. Which is by medicine. Depression medicine. Which sometimes makes us worse. Really, in situations like yours all you really needed to do to fix your depression was to get rid of the REAL problem..." i laughed and said "yeah HIM!" and that i did do THANKFULLY! Although it was 4 1/2 years later i'd rather it be later than never. :)

So she said she was going to give the information to the people who deal with my file and within 24 hours they will have everything processed and they will send it over for approval from my insurance company.

So now i just wait. It seems like a long wait, but i'm trying to be patient. Although it's really hard to be because i'm sooo excited I want it to be here already. I'm sure i'll get nervous RIGHT before surgery but right now, i just wanna know that I can get this done. I want it to be REAL. :)

Thanks to all who prayed and supported me through this... and THIS is still ongoing. Thanks for all your support. :)

LOL!!! On a side note...David (my fiance) made me laugh earlier, he said "babe, i will save you money, let me get a butter knife, fork and tongs and i'll do the surgery for you!" LOL!!! YEAH RIGHT!

This picture totally made me laugh out loud when i saw it.... what a coincidence!

Helpful Hints... post surgery

2009-10-26T20:53:00.000-07:00

Helpful Hints

Chew your food to a mushy consistency. Do not swallow chunks of food.
Never skip meals. Eat three small means (Meal = 1-2 ounce serving size) daily to ensure adequate nutrition.
Drink 8 cuts of fluid per day to prevent dehydration.
Sit up straight while eating and always eat at the table. Avoid talking and watching TV while eating.
Eat slowly, enjoy the flavor, texture and consistency of foods.
Stop eating prior to feeling full; overeating may cause discomfort, vomiting and diarrhea.
Avoid eating and drinking at the same time because this may cause vomiting. Start sipping fluids slowly 15-30 minutes after a meal and stop drinking 15-30 minutes before the next meal.
Measure your foods - remember your stomach pouch can only hold one ounce.
Use a small plate or saucer to give the impression of having more on your plate than there really is.
Remember - if you eat too much too fast you may experience vomiting or dumping syndrome.
Always eat protein foods first. Refer to the protein needs chart for your individual goal.
Limit sugar and fat intake.
Avoid alcohol for 6 - 12 months.
Take your Iron and Multivitamin together if you would like, but never take either of those WITH you calcium. It will cause you to lose most of the nutrients that you need. Calcium should be taken separately.

Follow these guidelines for avoiding specific foods:

Food/Beverage                                                                Length of time to avoid
Fresh fruits & vegetables                                                                  1 - 2 months
Bread, pasta and/or rice                                                                    3 -4 months
Alcohol                                                                                                    6 - 12 months

The number one reason why people gain their weight back after surgery is due to them drinking and eating at the same time (consuming fluids with their food) or making poor food choices that are high in sugars and fat.

Vitamin-Mineral Supplementation Following Gastric Bypass Surgery

Vitamin-mineral supplementation is important now that you are unable to consume enough food to meet 100% of the DRI's (Dietary Reference Intakes). The DRI's chart is provided for you to review and compare to your multivitamin-mineral label. Below are the recommendation for vitamin/mineral supplementation after your GBS (Gastric Bypass Surgery).

Multivitamin-Mineral:
Take two chewable vitamins daily for the first month. Take them at separate times of the day (morning and night). After the bottle is finished, take two of Dr. Felix's (or whatever your doctor gives to you if you didn't see Dr. Felix) vitamins daily.

Calcium:
Should be in the form of calcium citrate. Chewable form for the first month.

Iron:
Take one a day for the first month until bottle is finished.

Your Protein Needs

WOMEN:

Height: Protein Grams Needed Daily:

4'8 42-46

4'9 43-47

4'10 44-48

4'11 45-50

5'0 46-51

5'1 48-53

5'2 50-55

5'3 52-57

5'4 55-61

5'5 57-63

5'6 59-65

5'7 61-67

5'8 64-70

5'9 66-73

5'10 68-75

5'11 71-78

6'0 73-80

6'1 75-83

6'2 77-85

MEN:

Height: Protein grams needed daily:

5'0 48-53

5'1 51-56

5'2 54-59

5'3 56-62

5'4 59-65

5'5 62-68

5'6 65-72

5'7 67-74

5'8 70-77

5'9 73-80

5'10 76-84

5'11 78-86

6'0 81-89

6'1 84-92

6'2 86-95

6'3 89-98

6'4 92-101

6'5 95-105

6'6 97-107

Excess protein is not advised and can lead to kidney failure, liver failure, and calcium loss from bones. You are also at greater risk for dehydration because it takes a tremendous amount of water to break down protein. Stick with your individual goal and don't go overboard!

A little stressed about tomorrow...

2009-10-26T16:59:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is the day i finish it all up. I have butterflies in my tummy because I'm sooo excited. Thus, on the down side of things, i have no idea how my doctor will react to my wanting gastric bypass or if she'll say okay to writing the clearance letter. It's merely just a statement actually. It's not even required by the surgeon he's already approved me, but it IS required by my insurance. Anthem Blue Cross.

The doctor appointment is tomorrow at 8:45am, then I have the psych evaluation tomorrow as well but at 11am. I'm less worried about that. I know i don't have any eating disorders to worry about other than that of overeating.

Then PRAYING that all goes well and everything is a smooth process. They submit my paperwork to my insurance and we wait. Once i get an approval from them, i contact Dr. Felix's office and they call me back with my surgery date. Ohhh.... sooo excited.

Never has one ever been so excited for SURGERY. I mean, yes, people get surgery all the time, and believe me...i bet it's something they dread. I, on the other hand, although going under the "knife" and getting surgery for the FIRST time in my life, it's to SAVE my life. Help me become healthy again and to teach me to eat right and better for the sake of all things. I will be so happy once it's all over with.

Granted, i have been forewarned. Everyone tells me that right after surgery you will complain or at least panic and say to yourself "OhMyGoodness! What have i done to myself?" and wonder what on Earth you were thinking, but after day three you'll start feeling better.

I've also been warned that one must DEFINITELY bring ear plugs to the hospital with them as a NECESSITY. A friend of mine had the surgery and couldn't sleep a wink in the hospital due to the IV machines expiring and making a HORRIBLE beeping sound. Something i cannot handle. I can't sleep with the TV on, much less a repetitive and annoying beeping noise.

So, if you are considering surgery or in the process.....

consider yourself warned as well. :)

If i may make one last request from my friends/family: Can you please pray for me tomorrow? I will be so worried and I need to have a sound mind. I need to be able to go into the Doctor's office and get what i need to get THAT day. Without having to wait a week or more for her to fax over a "sentence" on a piece of paper. Please pray. I really need your prayers for tomorrow.

Thanks so much to all of you who are such wonderful people in my life, friends, family...you all know who you are. If you are reading this now...you ARE one of those people. :)

Take care,

Stephanie

Thoughts on what i just blogged about...

2009-10-26T16:49:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to realize something.... i almost NEVER drink water. It just so boring and bland to me. Course, when i don't feel good, i'll drink water. Afterwords, i'll start feeling better.

Considering that water is the key source to carrying nutrients through the body and disposing of waste in your body, i must be having some big issues going on in this tummy of mine. LOL! I laugh but i'm actually serious. I drank some water just now because I thought, why not give this a try. It's actually good. Refreshing. Now, don't you want some water? You know you want some water, go get some and drink up! :)

Water is GOOD!

Just some good information for after WLS....

2009-10-26T16:45:00.000-07:00

Food serves as an important vehicle for taking nutrients into the body. Food is broken down into specific nutrients that the body requires. These nutrients are called carbohydrates, fats, proteins, vitamins and minerals.

Protein - helps build, maintain and repair body tissue (always eat your protein first).
Carbohydrates (starches and sugars) - provide energy. Eat more complex carbohydrates such as whole grains and fruits/vegetables. Avoid simple sugars.
Fat - provide energy - plant sources are best such as; vegetable oil, canola oil, olive oils (oils).
Water - supports all body functions. It carries nutrients through the body and removes waste.

Protein and water will be the most important nutrients you consume after your surgery. Insufficient protein intake may result in hair loss, muscle wasting, general weakness, brittle nails, poor wound healing and an inability to fight off infections. A lack of fluid can result in dehydration.

Digestion: Before and After Gastric Bypass Surgery

2009-10-26T16:34:00.000-07:00

I'm just going to go ahead and skip back a few steps in my pamphlet that i have here from the nutritionist. It's important to know this stuff. So i thought i would share, not only for myself but also for everyone else considering GB or those who has already had the procedure. :)

How does normal digestion work?

Digestion starts in the stomach, which receives chewed and swallowed food. Typically the stomach stores food for up to four hours and initiates digestion by breaking down protein and killing bacteria with strong acidic gastric juice. From here, it moves into the first part of the small intestine. The duodenum functions to break down food into simple nutrients and adsorb a variety of nutrients, including iron and calcium. The next stop is the jejunum, which functions to absorb our nutrients. Digestion continues in the ileum and finishes in the large intestine with bowel movement.

How will digestion work after the surgery?

By creating a small pouch in the stomach and reattaching the jejunum to this pouch, food intake is significantly reduced and the duodenum is bypassed. As explained above, the main function of the duodenum is digestion and absorption of iron and calcium. Therefore, it's important to chew food thoroughly and take vitamin and mineral supplements to prevent nutritional deficiencies of these nutrients.

What is Dumping Syndrome? (occurs only for bypass patients)

Dumping Syndrome is caused by stomach contents moving too rapidly through the small intestine. Your body compensates by sending fluids from the bloodstream to dilute the food causing a rapid decrease in the volume of circulating blood and a rapid increase of fluid in the intestine. Symptoms include:

Feeling Faint
Diarrhea
Sweating
Rumbling stomach
Weakness
Rapid pulse
Anxiety
Nausea

To prevent dumping syndrome, it is recommended that you avoid consuming foods with high sugar and fat content, eat more slowly, and allow 15-30 minutes between consuming solids and fluids. The following foods may cause dumping syndrome and should be avoided:

AVOID THESE POTENTIAL DUMPING FOODS:

Sugar
Honey
Syrup
Jam/Preserves
Candy
Chocolate
Pudding
Cake
Pie
Cookies
Donuts
Sherbet
Fruit Yogurt
Frozen Yogurt
Ice Cream

Milkshake

Gastric Bypass Diet - Stage 2 (Days 5-8) - FULL LIQUIDS!

2009-10-26T16:16:00.000-07:00

Gastric Bypass Diet - Stage 2 (Days 5-8)

Full Liquids

This diet provides foods that are easy to consume and digest. It is recommended that you continue to consume foods that are at room temperature, caffeine-free, non-carbonated and sugar-free to avoid discomfort. You will be on the full liquid diet approximately 2-3 days.

Per the Nutritionist, SOME foods are best cold. They help sooth the stomach and cooler foods are less smelly which help with nausea.

*NOTE: You may not be able to tolerate milk or milk products following a gastric surgery due to the lactose (milk sugar). If you have complaints of gas, bloating or diarrhea after drinking milk, remove from your diet for now. You may introduce it slowly after 3-4 months and check for intolerance.

MEAL IDEA.....**Mix protein supplements into beverages or broth / Mix non-fat dairy milk powder into cereals or soups for extra protein.

What you can & cannot eat/drink, the stages per Nutritionist...Stage 1 CLEAR LIQUIDS!

2009-10-26T12:27:00.000-07:00

This is the diet that is recommend by Dr. Felix's office 5 - 7 days after surgery, it was in a pamphlet that was given to us in the nutrition class. Thought it might even be helpful for those of you who are "considering" surgery or for those of you who have already had surgery but were not sure EXACTLY what you are allowed to drink/eat.

Gastric Bypass Diet - Stage 1 (Days 5 - 7)

Clear Liquids

This diet is recommended to allow healing time and permit a gradual return to semi-solid foods. You will be on the clear liquid diet for approximately 5-7 days, your physician may advance you after 5 days if you are tolerating it well. It is necessary to consume 6-8 cups of liquid a day to prevent dehydration.

Just blabbing real quick....

2009-10-25T00:22:00.000-07:00

Just wanted to know what everyone thought of my new picture on here. It's a picture of me that I photoshop'd it was fun. :)

I also made the whole picture with the feathers and all and the butterflies because I LOVE photoshop and I thought, why not make this blog by own. So i decorated it. :)

Enjoy! :)

Stephanie

Continued from last...

2009-10-22T18:43:00.000-07:00

So, we learned that overall, the gastric bypass is the best for losing weight and not regaining it.

The lap band actually sounds a bit of like a stupid idea to me. Only because of the fact that a LOT of patient that get the lap-band most often come back for gastric bypass because the lap band didn't help them lose the amount of weight they wanted to lose. However, i would say that the lap band is a better option for people who are only 50 - 70 lbs overweight and just want to lose enough weight to be healthier.

For people like myself though who need to lose 100lbs or more then gastric is the way to go.

Dr. Felix explained everything in detail. Even ran through some of the financial stuff as well. That was good to know.

He also said something that made me feel better, because i always have people who have NEVER in their life been 100lbs overweight tell me that I should just go work out and eat better. Dr. Felix explain WHY people like myself and the many others NEED gastric bypass.

I didn't know it but there are proven facts that people who are 100lbs overweight usually have a hard time working out due to pain, but not just that, if they do succeed in losing the weight only about 15% (i think it was 15, no more than 15 I'm sure) of them will keep their weight off, the other 85% will regain their weight if not more.

I wasn't looking for an excuse; i don't need those. I've already used those all up. I was looking for my answer, my reason. I knew i wanted this surgery and I knew why. I just felt like maybe I was the only person struggling with losing weight in the sense that i had to get gastric bypass surgery at 27 years old. Dr. Felix cleared it up for me.

I know that this might sound strange to some people, especially those that are not fat. When i would go places like just in general, lets say like a doctor's office just for a routine checkup or something, I was usually the only REALLY overweight person there. Other than maybe one other person. I kept thinking that people were staring at the rolls on my stomach. Or trying to guess how much i weighed.

When i went to the Advanced Bariatric Center of Fresno, CA I walked in so confident. Happy as a clam. Thinking to myself "FINALLY a place where NO one will judge me for my weight." and no one did. In fact, just about every person in that place was SUPER nice. All the patients in the waiting room were friendly and happy people. Including me.

I had a guy sitting next to me in both of the classes that Dr. Felix kept picking on. I felt so bad for him. Dr. Felix didn't mean to pick on him, he was just kind of setting himself up for being picked on. Although, i thought it was kind of rude. I asked David when we left what he thought, David said "oh he didn't get his feelings hurt, it's okay." Apparently girls are just much more sensitive. But i think David was wrong, i really think that this poor guy (just like myself and the rest of the people there) was so good at hiding his feelings that he just laughed it off like it didn't bother him, but i KNOW it had to hurt. I wanted to give the poor guy a hug and tell him it's okay. :(

I went to TCBY the other day with David. I laughed as i took my last bit of my frozen yogurt with heath bar topping and said to David "well, no more TCBY! Goodbye TCBY! Goodbye!" LOL!

It's actually like a whole new beginning for me. In fact, it is.

I tried to imagine myself today with a small 1 ounce pouch for a stomach and as I took a "small" drink of water i realized, i actually used to GULP drinks. I took a bite of food. I really DON'T chew my food well. Something i need to start working on today.

It's amazing how hard is actually is to chew your food thoroughly. I need to start learning NOW because God forbid i get this surgery done and accidentally swallow something without chewing it up enough and like the nutritionist said her motto is: "What doesn't go down, MUST come up!" i don't want to be there.

Great! Just lovely! I think I'm getting sick. This can't be happening. NOT before surgery. Granted, i don't know when surgery is yet, but I hope i'm not sick for a long time with a cough that lasts me up to 4 weeks like they have in the past.

Well, i'm going to go eat some dinner and learn how to eat slowly and CHEW, CHEW, CHEW. LOL!

Goodnight all! I'll write more later. :)

First day meeting Dr. Felix and attending the classes...

2009-10-21T21:16:00.000-07:00

Hey! So, wow, I'm not even sure where to start.  Yesterday, Tuesday, the 20th of October was the first day I went to the Advanced Bariatric Center of Fresno, CA to meet with Dr. Felix to find out if he thinks I'm a good candidate for surgery and what not. 

I got there, a little bit confused honestly about what exactly I was suppose to do.  LOL!  I asked the girl, Lupe, at the front desk what exactly I needed to do and she said "have a seat, the nutrition class is at 9am, you'll be going into that class first, it's about an hour and a half long." I was there at about 8:30am.  

Brooke tried to warn me about how to get there and that I might want to call to get directions since it's quite confusing.  I'll admit, i said "okay" but in my head thought, "i think i'll be alright" it's the stubborn side of me i suppose.  Well, David and I were on our way there and oh my gosh, i even used the "maps" on my iphone.  It tells me to turn down "Birch" street.... (lol, sorry laughing at myself typing birch and ACCIDENTALLY typing the name wrong... i'm sure you know what happened...LOL!), so i turn into this residential area. I'm thinking "how could the place possibly be here..." David and I were laughing I said "Wow, Brooke was SOO right, I'm REALLY lost! Even my iphone is lost!"  Finally we take a turn down a road to try and find our way OUT of the crazy mixed up residential area and David yells "Advanced Bariatric!" i was like "WHERE!?" YAY!!! We found, well David FOUND it.  HAHA! I arrive! 

There were only about four people in the waiting room total.  At 9am, we go into a small room filled with about 20 chairs (that's a guess), and as the people come in, the room becomes filled.  All 20 chairs.  Neat!  

David was bored out of his poor mind, but being since I'll be eating the stuff and trying to "survive" so to speak, i was TOTALLY intrigued with what the nutritionist had to say.  Although, he admitted he learned a few things about what's NOT good to eat, and it was MOSTLY ALL the stuff he eats DAILY.  LOL!  I was laughing at him.  It's like I eat veggies and he eats brownies....yet, i gain the weight.  What gives!? 

I went in to see Dr. Felix after the nutritional class.  It was really quite funny because I was expecting this nice, calm and caring doctor to come in.  Amazingly, LOL and not that he's a bad man, but a very BRASSY man.  Like hard-core.  To the point and no BS accepted.  

I was planning to get my labs done yesterday along with everything else, but when i saw Dr. Felix and tried to tell him i would do the Seminar next Tuesday he looked at me funny, gave me a stern look and said "The seminar is today at 1:30..", i said "well can i come next Tuesday to that because I haven't ate anything today?" he smiled kind of sly-ish like he was about to say something that would SHOCK me...and said "ever heard of FAST-food?, see you at 1:30 today for the Seminar!" and handed me a slip to give to the receptionist saying I was good to go and that i would be attending the Seminar TODAY... LOL!! 

I did, David enjoyed that the most over the two classes we attended.  

I have SOOO much more to say.  BUT, i'm SUPER tired and trying to watch a movie on TV with David so i will update more on this tomorrow.  :) 

This is just because....

2009-10-13T15:38:00.000-07:00

It's raining like crazy outside today, this is more rain than i think i've seen all year just in ONE day. LOL! I love it!

It's nice to have rain like this, when you're indoors of course, but outdoors - not-so-much! LOL!

Last night, i was in a "downer" mood. Not sure why. Feelings were just all over the place. I guess it's because I miss home. I miss my cat. I miss my own bed.

I literally woke up every hour last night and it took me about 30 - 60 minutes each time to go to sleep so sometimes i was awake for almost two hours. It was ridiculous. I don't know why i couldn't sleep. I woke up this morning, totally exhausted and just no energy. I also woke up with a stiff back, i think it's because i'm on a different bed other than my own at my grandparents house. So all day, while sitting in the chair or walking around i've had this horrible stiff back issue that's driving me crazy.

I need a massage. Hmm...one more thing i can look forward to when i lose weight. There is NO way i'll ever go get a massage from someone public at the weight i'm at now. haha

I also miss Lucky and Ollie (my fiance's cats) i haven't been over much to see them.

Goodness, i have the screen door closed but the slider door open right now and not to change subject but it sounds like it's going to flood out there or something. Craziness!

I need knew windsheild wipers...haha well hopefully it won't be this bad tomorrow night when i drive home. It's about 30 minutes away from home so i'll have a long drive with crappy windsheild wipers.

And, i think i'm done blabbing on and on now. :)

Take care everyone!

Called Dr. Felix's office...

2009-10-12T12:26:00.000-07:00

Called Dr. Felix's office today. I have my consult with the doctor next Tuesday, as well as the nutritional class. Its becoming real now. I just hope that it happens fast and no more than a month to get approved. We will see though. I have to call in about a week and a half when i have $200.00 to schedule an appointment with Dr. Michelle Russell for the psych. evaluation which is mandatory.

The doctors office is sending me paperwork to fill out and i am suppose to bring it to my appointment with me next Tuesday the 20th.

I am excited! :)

The only bad thing...

2009-10-11T23:45:00.001-07:00

The only bad thing about this surgery is the money i will have to spend to have it done. I will have to stay home for about a month and not go to David's every day like i used to, so i will misd Lucky and Ollie. David can still come visit me though but at least i will be able to save an extra $100 every two weeks in gas money so i can save up for the $200 psych. eval thats mandatory and the $500 up front for meds and the doctor fee and for any counseling needed. :)

Other than that i am excited. I am a LITTLE nervous about getting surgery done but hey, its okay and its totally worth it!

-- Post From Stephanie's iPhone 

Anxious

2009-10-11T17:59:00.000-07:00

I'm starting to get impatient and totally excited, well i was always excited but impatient is more it. I just want it to happen already so i can be happy again. I'm happy, but not the "happy" that i want to be. I have a phone call to make tomorrow to Dr. Felix, and then i'm sure since the Seminar's are on Tuesdays they will have me attend the seminar this tuesday. Which is fine. The more information i can get, the better off i'll be.

Let's get the party started already! LOL!!!

I was thinking about how they have to staple your stomach up after the surgery and I was like "i wonder what that will be like?" I've never had surgery before in my life. I wonder if i'll be sore. If i'll be able to walk around and sit down without my stomach hurting. I know, weird thoughts, but hey, it crossed my mind! LOL!

Contacted the Advanced Bariactric Centers...

2009-10-07T15:21:00.000-07:00

Well, I noticed i could call or email them, so i emailed them. Hopefully i'll hear back soon. I'll keep you posted. Bascially, this is what their website says about how it will all go:

HOW OUR OFFICE WORKS:

When you call or contact us, we will ask a few questions to determine if you are a candidate for bariatric surgery. If you qualify, you will be sent a booklet and forms to fill out. Please bring these with you to your first visit. In addition you will be given information on upcoming seminars. It is mandatory that you attend our educational seminar, either before your visit or before your surgery. The purpose of the seminar is to teach you everything you ever wanted to know about bariatric surgery and more.
At your first visit, you will meet one of our doctors, who will perform a history and pysical to determine if you are a good candidate for surgery. Certain tests will be ordered according to your own medical needs. After your visit you may be asked to see a psychologist, if this is required by your insurance. Other studies, such as endoscopy or a sleep study may be ordered if indicated. Once all the information is gathered, it will be submitted to your insurance company. Then we wait for approval.
Once you are approved, you will be notified by phone of your approval and a surgery date will be set. This takes from 2- 8 weeks depending on your insurance company, sometimes even longer if your company is difficult.
After your surgery date is set, a pre-op appointment will be given. At this visit, another brief exam will be performed and you will have more teaching and any questions you have will be answered. Doctor Felix will go over your record and talk to you about your upcoming surgery. Now is the time to ask anything you want. This time is yours, use it well. You will receive a bag with many items that will be important to your recovery. The staff will go over these with you. You will be given important pre-op instructions that you must follow to promote a safe surgery and recovery.
Next is your surgery. You will get to the hospital about 2 hours before the surgery start time. Surgery will usually take from 75 to 120 minutes, but you may be in the operating room at least another 30 minutes to put you to sleep and wake you up from anesthesia. Your family will wait in the waiting room and we will contact them as soon as the operation is over. You should be moved to your room about 1 to 2 hours after surgery, but occasionally longer if rooms are not ready.
After surgery, you will be started on a liquid diet and remain on this diet for one week. Most patients are in the hospital for under 48 hours after lapaoscopic gastric bypass, although some patients may go home in only one day and others may stay 3-4 days. You will not be discharged home until you are able to drink at least a liter of water per day in addition to your liquid diet. You will be up and about at the hospital as soon as anesthesia wears off. It is important that you do as much walking in the hospital and when you get home.
Your post op visit to the office will be scheduled at the pre-op visit and should be about 1 week post-op. You will also be given an appointment with our registered dietition and fitness practioner to help you prepare for your future. You will be followed at regular intervals in our office (1 week, 1 month, 3monts 6 months and yearly).
We are sure you will have many questions and we will be happy to answer them. We look forward to helping you on your way toward your new life.

First day of consideration...

2009-10-07T13:58:00.000-07:00

Well, i've considered getting gastric bypass surgery done before. I have always thought about it, just never had the courage or knew anyone who has had the surgery before and had a good outcome. Thankfully, two weeks ago i met a lady who was very sweet named Brooke who is my new inspiration and my help through this process. She had the surgery about two months ago and has lost 35lbs so far and says it's been such a great experience.

I honestly cannot wait until i can look in the mirror and be happy with what i see. I cannot wait to not spend my days worrying about what to eat, where i dont' have to spend my money on food, rather i can spend my money on new clothes. I cannot wait til the day that I can ride rollercoasters and not walk away with bruises on my hips from not being able to fit into the seats. I cannot wait until i can go places and not have to worry about if i'll break the seat. I cannot wait until the day that i can get on exercise equipment and not worry about breaking it because i'm at the weight limit for it. I cannot wait until the day I can actually go out and have fun and not feel like people are starring at me and thinking that this FAT girl shouldn't be out seen anywhere.

I cannot wait until the day i get married and I can fit into a dress and actually say "wow, i look good". I cannot wait til the day that i can go to a job interview and not be "judged" or passed up because i'm fat. I cannot wait til the day that I can go to mall and actually shop in the "normal" stores rather than only the plus size ones, in general, i cannot wait to be able to set foot in a mall without cruel people saying things about my weight. Granted, those people will never change and they will always tease people, but I choose to be one of the ones they no longer tease.

I want to be able to go to my high school reunion and not be afraid that people will notice how fat I am and spend their time explaining how i used to be thin. I want to get back to where i was when i was in high school.

The saddest part of all, is that when i was in high school i weighed 135lbs and i still thought i was fat.

I'm getting this all out on the table, i'm thankful to have a great family that's supportive, a fiance that loves me no matter what and supports me and friends that also support me. I am also very grateful for Brooke who is the reason i'm getting this surgery. :)

Thanks everyone! :)

Gastric-Bypass Adventure

i'm still alive...

i'm still alive...

I'M SELLING MEDICAL ID BRACELETS ON EBAY LADIES!!!

I'm STUCK!!! Help!

how did i even survive this!?

Syntrax Matrix Perfect Chocolate Protein Powder

Citracal Calcium Citrate w/Vitamin D - PETITES

Bariatric Advantage Calcium Citrate Lozenges w/Vitamin D

Wellesse Liquid Calcium Citrate & Vitamin D

Product Reviews

Sorry for my absence...I am back.

long awaited update...

Day 1 in hospital - Surgery Day

Day of Surgery...

Surgery Day Tomorrow...

It's Pre-Op diet time!!!

Good ol' Wal-Mart!

Strange dislikes

5 Wishes *i wish to be*...

Body Fortress - VANILLA!

The Icky Truth...

A little off subject...

SURGERY DATE SCHEDULED!!!

The Wait...Surgery Date

APPROVED!!!

Recap on Halloween Night Party

Appropriate for Halloween

Update - Called Insurance

Antisipating Monday

Doctor's Clearance Letter & Psych Evaluation

Helpful Hints... post surgery

A little stressed about tomorrow...

Thoughts on what i just blogged about...

Just some good information for after WLS....

Digestion: Before and After Gastric Bypass Surgery

Gastric Bypass Diet - Stage 2 (Days 5-8) - FULL LIQUIDS!

What you can & cannot eat/drink, the stages per Nutritionist...Stage 1 CLEAR LIQUIDS!

Just blabbing real quick....

Continued from last...

First day meeting Dr. Felix and attending the classes...

This is just because....

Called Dr. Felix's office...

The only bad thing...

Anxious

Contacted the Advanced Bariactric Centers...

First day of consideration...

5 Wishes i wish to be...